Redefining Success: What Progress Really Looks Like for Kids
As pediatric occupational therapists, we talk a lot about how children participate in daily activities, such as play, learning, self-care, and routines, and the skills that support that participation. But for many families, progress doesn’t look like a checklist. It looks quieter. Slower. And often, easier to miss.
As parents, it’s natural to wonder:
“Are we doing enough?”
“Should my child be further along by now?”
“Why does progress feel so inconsistent?”
Let’s talk about what success actually looks like in child development and why redefining it is so important.
1. Confidence Builds in Small Moments
Confidence rarely shows up all at once. It grows in the small, everyday moments:
A child trying again after getting frustrated
Asking for help instead of shutting down
Tolerating a task that once felt overwhelming
Feeling safe enough to make mistakes
From an OT perspective, these moments matter just as much as the end result. They tell us that your child’s nervous system is learning to feel safe, regulated, and capable… which is the foundation for all skill development.
Progress isn’t always about doing something perfectly. Often, it’s about being willing to try.
2. Development Is Not Linear (And That’s Normal)
One of the most important things families should know: development is not a straight line.
There will be weeks where things feel easier, followed by days where old challenges resurface. This doesn’t mean your child is “going backwards.” It usually means:
Their brain is integrating new skills
Their body is adapting to new demands
Their environment has changed (school, routine, expectations)
Growth often looks like: two steps forward, one step back … and then another step forward.
3. Success Isn’t About Speed… It’s About Sustainability
It’s tempting to focus on how quickly a child learns a skill. But what we care about more is how sustainable that skill is.
For example:
Can your child use a new coping strategy without adult prompting?
Can they apply a skill in different environments?
Does the skill feel supportive, not exhausting?
True success is when a child feels confident using their skills in daily life, not just during therapy sessions.
4. What Parents Can Focus On at Home
If you’re wondering how to support your child’s growth day-to-day, here are a few OT-approved reminders:
Celebrate effort, not just achievement
Notice emotional regulation as much as physical skills
Expect ups and downs … they are part of learning
Trust that small, consistent steps add up over time
Progress doesn’t need to be loud to be meaningful.
Essentially …
Redefining success doesn’t lower expectations. It grounds them in reality.
When we shift our focus from “Are we there yet?” to “Are we moving forward in a way that feels safe and supportive?”, we give children the space they need to grow into their own strengths.
And that kind of success lasts.
Ayesha Raza, OT Reg. (Ont.)
This post is for general educational purposes and is not a substitute for individualized occupational therapy. If you have concerns about your child’s development, an OT can help guide next steps in a way that’s tailored to your family.